So, Mary McKillop is to be made a saint?    Doesn’t all that faecal matter make one want to throw up?  Or perhaps make haste to a dunny!

ZIMBABWEAN dictator Robert Mugabe is “forward-thinking”, the Islamist paramilitary organisation Hezbollah is “not radical” and chickens in Thailand are scrawny.

These are among the startling findings of $4.9 million in taxpayer-funded political study tours.

Federal MPs spent the record sum in just six months of globetrotting to June 30 this year, visiting 31 countries to “investigate” everything from the global financial crisis to Mekong River hill tribes and upmarket boutiques in Milan

Their reports, tabled in Parliament, are a combination of trite observations about world affairs and policy tips, such as Queensland Liberal Peter Lindsay’s remarks on Mr Mugabe – whose despotic regime is subject to Australian sanctions – and Hezbollah, the Lebanon-based political group that funds terror activities throughout the Middle East, according to Australia, the US and Britain.   This surely is an indication of the stupidity of our politicians……….anyone who could make statements like that about a tyrant like Mugabe and a  bunch of bomb-crazy fundamentalist morons must be mentally challenged!

Bowman MP Andrew Laming undertook a seven-week trip to the US, France, Russia, Latvia and Thailand.

While in the US, he stopped over in Las Vegas to learn about the real-estate crisis, attending what he described as a meeting about condominium sales.   I’ll bet……….HE bet and I wonder how much of the taxpayers money went into the casinos?

Mr Laming, whose trip cost just over $9000, visited San Francisco for a banking dinner before flying to Milan to meet Italian academics. He dropped into Latvia to discuss a Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade program, then headed back to Australia.

Mallee MP John Forrest took a challenging 18-day trip to northern Thailand to visit hill tribes in the Mekong River region.   Yeah, he would find it challenging to ride on a subway train!

The purpose of the trip – which cost $17,562 – was to learn about the Children of the Golden Triangle organisation.    That dickhead should have stayed at home and learned something about the Children of Australia suffering under a Labor government!

In a candid report, Mr Forrest described how he was kept up by barking dogs, how his taxi driver became hopelessly lost and how he ate at an internet cafe. He also observed that the chickens in villages were “scrawny”.   Not as scrawny as the mush between his ears.

Mr Forrest – who misspelt the Thai currency as “bart” throughout his report – checked into the Bangkok Hilton for a stopover on his way back to Australia.    Well,  he probably finds it difficult to spell his own name….after all he is a politician!

Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells jetted to Italy for two weeks to find solutions to the Australian wool-industry crisis.

She said her $17,798 trip was insightful, and has filed a record 620-page report she described as her “War And Peace on wool”.

Senator Fierravanti-Wells told Parliament she became attached to her subjects after never having been close to a sheep before.

“Cuddling lambs across the countryside meant that lamb was off the Wells household’s menu for a while,” she said.

Curiously, her report also contained a disclaimer that stated: “No responsibility is accepted for the accuracy or completeness of any material contained in this publication.”

Senator Fierravanti-Wells said part of the motivation for heading to Italy was that she often asked herself why Australia produced the best wool in the world, only to sell it to Italy before buying back the clothes.

“I myself have been guilty of this, as I suspect have quite a number of my Senate colleagues, judging by their suits,” Senator Fierravanti-Wells said.

“So I decided to get the answer for myself. I admit I had only seen sheep in paddocks and never touched one in my life.”

The senator’s trip included visits to fashion house Zegna in Milan and textile mills where she purchased several outfits.   Ah, now we come to the real reason why an  Italian should visit Italy to study.    I wouldn’t mind betting the “several outfits” that she purchased were done so on her golden credit card………in other words the taxpayer paid again!

Queensland Liberal MP Peter Lindsay spent $15,619 visiting 11 countries in 41 days, including South Africa, Zimbabwe, Mauritius and the UK.

He said he wanted to come back to Australia with new ideas on defence, security, social policy and crime. His conclusions included this insight: “As much as the world is different, we face many of the same problems.”  Idiot politicians being the greatest of these!

Among his discoveries, Mr Lindsay said he had learnt that Hezbollah – the Lebanon-based Islamist organisation that calls for the destruction of Israel – was not the radical group some thought it was, and could be a force for good in the Middle East. He also praised President Mugabe’s “forward thinking” in tackling the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Zimbabwe.

Victorian Labor senator Jacinta Collins went on a tour of China to investigate the impact of the Global Financial Crisis on the Chinese economy. Between meetings, she managed to squeeze in visits to museums and the Huaqing Hot Springs.

Senator Collins concluded that China appeared to be moving out of its slump.   And this parasitic dyke had to go all the way to China to learn something she could have read in an Australian newspaper?

Victorian Liberal MP Petro Georgiou went on a three-week trip to France, Belgium, Netherlands and Britain, where he met with various representatives about xenophobia, asylum-seekers and integration issues.a    So we can expect a large number of Greek illegals is that it? No doubt that little runt Rudd the Dud will do his best to ensure they are allowed into the country!

In Belgium, Mr Georgiou met with an advocacy officer from the European Council for Refugees and Exiles.

At this meeting, the need to accept nudity and homosexuality as part of acceptance for integration was discussed, he said.    There is no need to accept sexual perversion for any reason.   It is an abomination and the performers and purveyors should be quietly extinguished!

Victorian Labor MP and House of Representatives deputy speaker Anna Burke jetted to Dublin, London, Vienna, Paris and Rome for 35 days.

In Paris, “we had long and fruitful discussions about our countries’ responses to the global financial crisis,” Ms Burke said.   I would assume that this berk’s………….er, is that the proper spelling…………knowledge of global financial crisis could be inscribed on the head of a pin………in the space left after the Lord’s prayer!

Victorian Liberal MP Fran Bailey spent five weeks in Portugal, Belgium, Britain and Singapore finding ways to improve responses to bushfires.   Like putting them out perhaps?

So, what a total waste of nearly $5million by a bunch of no-brainers with the one aim of enjoying more of the gravy-train powered by the leeching of taxes from the general population.   Any one of which would have more intelligence and usefulness than the whole bunch of pollies put together!

KRISTINA KENEALLY will be sworn in today as the state’s first female premier and fourth Labor premier in five years after she rolled Nathan Rees in a leadership ballot 47-21 last night.    Well, I have been saying for years that Australia always takes the worst the Americans think up and now they have really sunk to the bottom by electing a “yank” to be Premier.     Look at what happened to Telstra when an American took over……….down the tubes – with NSW likely to follow!

Keneally sets out her priorities   Yeah, I’ll bet……self first, last and self again.

But Ms Keneally’s reign will be tainted from day one after the man she ousted, Nathan Rees, declared yesterday morning: ”Should I not be Premier by the end of this day, let there be no doubt in the community’s mind, no doubt, that any challenger will be a puppet of Eddie Obeid and Joe Tripodi.”

Ms Keneally later retorted in Parliament when confronted with Opposition questions about Mr Rees’s comments: ”Let me be absolutely clear on this: I’m nobody’s puppet. I am nobody’s protege, I am nobody’s girl.”     Oh, well if she says so………..I still don’t believe her!     She may not be anybody’s protege, and she sure as Hell is nobody’s “girl” but with a  face like that she must be somebody’s great grandmother!

Sources from the Right said Ms Keneally beat her predecessor as planning minister, Frank Sartor, in a Right caucus ballot by 25 votes to 22 to win its endorsement to take on Mr Rees at a meeting of the full caucus last night.

Mr Sartor was understood to be angry at the ”betrayal” by John Della Bosca and Tony Kelly. He believed they voted against him and cost him the premiership. A spill motion in caucus was won 43-25, with some Right votes spilling behind Mr Rees.

The 47-21 vote for premier reflected the Left faction siding with Mr Rees and the Right faction aligning with Ms Keneally, barring one or two votes.

Ms Keneally won the leadership without the backing of Labor’s head office but had the support of the powerbrokers and enemies of Mr Rees, Eddie Obeid, Joe Tripodi, John Della Bosca and Ian Macdonald.

At a news conference last night Ms Keneally said she had challenged Mr Rees for the leadership so she could heal the party of divisions.      What a crock!   She is no doubt in bed with Obeid and Tripodi………..but whether this is merely an expression of abstract or of material ………..who knows! Time will tell just for who she is working………..probably not the electorate!

She said she would not put Mr Tripodi back into cabinet, saying he was a ”good minister” but his time had passed. But she would not rule out giving Mr Della Bosca and Mr Macdonald ministries. She said she had offered Mr Sartor a ministry and wanted to talk to Mr Rees about a senior role in government.      Quid pro quo as I believe the Romans used to put it!

She denied she was a puppet, saying she had exercised her own mind since she was a ”little girl” and rang a talkback radio station in the US at age eight to tell a bishop girls should be allowed to become altar servers.     Not too difficult to exercise a mind so small I reckon.    Normally exercise tends to increase muscle mass and it looks as if the muscle in her head has been exercised to its’ limit………………pity she didn’t stay in the US, get a job at the radio station……….then Australia would have been spared her pontificating!

She said: ”Governments earn trust from the community. I intend to restore that trust.”     She really is living in cloud-cuckoo land!     No government has ever earned trust from any right-thinking community.   They are all a bunch of self-serving parasites and I have no reason to believe that Keneally will be any different………..except for the nasal drone of a US accent!

At a news conference at 9am yesterday Mr Rees prepared the groundwork for Ms Keneally’s opponents by claiming a vote against him was a vote against the integrity of government.

”I will not hand the Government of NSW over to Obeid, Tripodi or Sartor,” he said. ”Under my leadership there will be no going back. The old regime will never again dictate the fortunes of our party, nor will they regain the levers of control.”    Sorry old son, it is difficult to carry on working when a bunch of sycophantic no-hopers have been sticking knives in one’s back!    Ceasar found that out……………even his best friend did the dirty on him…….et tu….!

Ms Keneally was backed into the job by Mr Tripodi three weeks after Mr Rees axed him from cabinet. She was seen in Mr Tripodi’s office yesterday.     Was she “backed into” Tripodi first one wonders?

Powerbrokers decided to move after a Herald poll on Saturday found Mr Tripodi’s sacking gave no bounce to the Government’s standing.   Powerbrokers?   More like bunch of out-of-work pawnbrokers!

A horse, a horse, my kingdom  for a horse……………………….now someone has given the kingdom to the horse!